From the Bureau of Ordnance

“Whatever your plan, until you stress-test it in a full dress rehearsal, you are probably in denial about what a sh**show it will be.” That’s common, solid wisdom.

But *I* don’t need to follow common, solid wisdom, right?! That’s for other people! And so it is that, after all these years, it was only tonight that I actually shot on the clock with a plain-Jane pocket snub, a low-ride holster, and a speed strip.

Sure enough, when I drew, it felt like I had dolphin flippers instead of hands. And you could have seen better speed from a posse of birthday clowns with muzzle-loading Nerf guns.

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